Reading an article earlier, in vanity fair no less, yes, VANITY fuckin' FAIR?! yeh, i kno, you'd think that it would be a grade-a read. But oh no... bitter dissapointment. It was actually offensively dissapointing. Article on Heath Ledger, you know the guy - broke back mountain, and the epic role as the joker, yeh him. Anyway, to the point, who seriously writes an article in a top flight magazine, that lasts over 40 minutes long to read. I was genuinely interested in the read, only to be lead on a path of literary sham, down a bloody rabbit hole. I was lost, page, after page after page. Rediculous. AAAAAAAND. not only did it span, enough pages to rival war and peace, the article was split, finishing at page 50. Only to be resumed at page 100 - 50 PAGES later. Maaybe that was in my interest, take a break from this epic, to chill for 50 pages to come back to it at a later date. But my god was I taken a back. I was in a rush too, to topp it off! I had a band practice to go to. Rediculous once again. All this while the other one sat in a barber shop chair, chatting cod shit to strangers. But to be fair to the eagle eye counter robot, he did clock my mistake and offered a complimentary tea or coffee to help me over my ordeal. But i was inconsolable at this point. I was done.
So just a word of warning, have a quick peruse at the length of an article before commiting. You'll be glad of it in the long run. Vanity Fair if you are reading this... you owe me a chapter of my life back you yuppy cunts.
TARA superstar. x
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Monday, 27 July 2009
X-Ray Specs?
Another great invention eh? Xray Specs! - allows you to see the bones in your hand! Your friends without their clothes on! Be the life and soul of the party! Order today to avoid dissapointment.
Yes, that sounds like a good idea. But what if you were to ACTUALLY have a pair of xray spectacles. OK, soo there you are, you've just put together a new set of shades that emmits a considerable amount of Xrays to allow you to see through materials, at a considerable distance. Now lets look at the practicality of all this.
First of all.. the unit would have to be massive, we're not talking a stylish slimwire sett of d and gees here, my friends we're talking neck strainingly, posture cripplingly heffty bit of kit strapped to the front of your face.
and if walking around in a doubled over position seeing nothing but the water pipes under the road, because you cannot lift your head wasn't the clincher for walking away from this deal, maybe this might change your mind...
Hey Radioactive man! Whats up? Yes, that would be you, altough instead of glowing insanely green and being able to view naked ladies vagees froma across the street, you would actually be a crippled mess dying from the inside due to the amount of radiation you've intaken. lying on the floor with a 12 tons piece of gear strapped to your forehead.
Life and soul of the party huh? - I'd take that money back guarantee right now. Thanks.
Milkmen...
Why is it that people say "oh she ran away with the milkman!" or "you were made by the milkman" - who are these mythical sex gods of milkmen that these sayings were made about? was there a time where, hoarding around cows milkings at rediculous hours of the morning, cruising in the hotest ride through the neighbourhood, at a motion sickness inducing 5 mph, and usually not being the brightest bulb in the box was considered the epitomy of sex appeal.
I mean waw. If there was ever a stronger image of the underdog coming out on top. It is lived day in day out by our milkmen, delivering your daily supply of the calcium rich white stuff, before clocking off and giving a bit more protein rich white stuff to Loraine next door. Oooh Err Mrs!
So yeh, i just dont get it. But hey, i guess it takes all sorts.
I mean waw. If there was ever a stronger image of the underdog coming out on top. It is lived day in day out by our milkmen, delivering your daily supply of the calcium rich white stuff, before clocking off and giving a bit more protein rich white stuff to Loraine next door. Oooh Err Mrs!
So yeh, i just dont get it. But hey, i guess it takes all sorts.
Dafft
We've all been there as a kid. You get that slammin' toy that was all the rage through the 80s and 90s THE SLINKY! well waw, wasn't it just amazing. you could like stretch it between your hands and jangle it around, it came in all different colours and even multicoloured ones too! and if you hadnt spent half the day untangling the fuckin' thing after jangling it too much between your hands, you'd be sat at the top of the stairs thinking "well this is shit!" as the slinky would only manage a measly 4 steps before stopping and /or tangling itself up again. Like i said, great toy!
Thursday, 23 July 2009
Eureka!
We have much to boast about today.
Being creative involves being innovative. and of late we have been doing a lot of both.
I think we've copped onto a few new innovative ideas which will take the world by storm one day!
Inverse Pinch Harmonics
You do a standard pinch harmonic on the guitar by picking the string and touching it slightly at a given point which then splits the frequency of the note, resulting in a higher pitched sound than that which is fretted. But we here at RINSE! yes wait for it! have invented a technique in which you pick the string upwards, and touching the string with your index finger. Hence Inverse pinch harmonics. This then gives freedom to expand into playing tremolo pinch harmonics! Boom!
© Copyright - 2009 All Rights Reserved RINSE!
DJ'in with ONLY 2 Vinyls
Its a bit of a ball ache when your DJin, you know, you gotta lugg around loads and loads of records in a huge bag along with all your other gear. Well not anymore! Here at RINSE! we have been spitballing and come up with a way in which you will only ever need 2! yes thats right! 2 vinyls to play an indeffinately long set.
The key is using panning. (wiki) When cutting tunes to vinyl, you would have the fundamental track in the central pan position. You would then have other variants of that track across other pan settings in the stereo field. By using the pan control you would be able to then scan the track for the desired sounds and drop them into the mix. By utilising this with traditional mixing methods and having 2 specially panned vinyl (even double sided) the options are almost limitless. But only ever using 2 vinyls! Genius.
© Copyright - 2009 All Rights Reserved RINSE!
TOTEMPOLE
This one, to be fair, has allready taking part of the world by storm, (if south wales and bristol count), and its one for all the smokers out there. Everyone's heard of two toke hold, and other such variants on the theme. This is where you take your two tokes, hold, pass the joint to a friend who then does the same. But, different to original two hold, you do not exhale when the joint is returned to you. You take ANOTHER two tokes, and hold that too. Hence the totempole, stacking tokes ontop of another. This is repeated until your physical capacity to hold anymore smoke is reached. Then you are out of the game.
It is best played between a group of friends, the more people, the harder the game.
The amount of tokes per pass can allso be changed. See if you can go more than 3 rounds of 10
toke totempole. I dare ya.
© Copyright - 2009 All Rights Reserved RINSE!
So there it is folks, a handful of inventions from us, the guys at RINSE!
winner winner chicken dinner. x
Being creative involves being innovative. and of late we have been doing a lot of both.
I think we've copped onto a few new innovative ideas which will take the world by storm one day!
Inverse Pinch Harmonics
You do a standard pinch harmonic on the guitar by picking the string and touching it slightly at a given point which then splits the frequency of the note, resulting in a higher pitched sound than that which is fretted. But we here at RINSE! yes wait for it! have invented a technique in which you pick the string upwards, and touching the string with your index finger. Hence Inverse pinch harmonics. This then gives freedom to expand into playing tremolo pinch harmonics! Boom!
© Copyright - 2009 All Rights Reserved RINSE!
DJ'in with ONLY 2 Vinyls
Its a bit of a ball ache when your DJin, you know, you gotta lugg around loads and loads of records in a huge bag along with all your other gear. Well not anymore! Here at RINSE! we have been spitballing and come up with a way in which you will only ever need 2! yes thats right! 2 vinyls to play an indeffinately long set.
The key is using panning. (wiki) When cutting tunes to vinyl, you would have the fundamental track in the central pan position. You would then have other variants of that track across other pan settings in the stereo field. By using the pan control you would be able to then scan the track for the desired sounds and drop them into the mix. By utilising this with traditional mixing methods and having 2 specially panned vinyl (even double sided) the options are almost limitless. But only ever using 2 vinyls! Genius.
© Copyright - 2009 All Rights Reserved RINSE!
TOTEMPOLE
This one, to be fair, has allready taking part of the world by storm, (if south wales and bristol count), and its one for all the smokers out there. Everyone's heard of two toke hold, and other such variants on the theme. This is where you take your two tokes, hold, pass the joint to a friend who then does the same. But, different to original two hold, you do not exhale when the joint is returned to you. You take ANOTHER two tokes, and hold that too. Hence the totempole, stacking tokes ontop of another. This is repeated until your physical capacity to hold anymore smoke is reached. Then you are out of the game.
It is best played between a group of friends, the more people, the harder the game.
The amount of tokes per pass can allso be changed. See if you can go more than 3 rounds of 10
toke totempole. I dare ya.
© Copyright - 2009 All Rights Reserved RINSE!
So there it is folks, a handful of inventions from us, the guys at RINSE!
winner winner chicken dinner. x
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Dances.
We've all been there. Out on a night out, about to throw down to your favourite tune to impress the ladies in the place only to get onto the dancefloor and freeze.
"What do I do now?!" we hear you say.
Fear no more. We at RINSE! have the answers to your prayers.
Here's a list of fullproof (ahem!) royalty free dances to use at your disposal:
Morrisey - where you flail your arms around with flowers in your pockets - knob
Ian Curtis - crazy straight arms
Thom Yorke - hold your hands up to your head like you're a dj. nod with your eyes closed - god
Robot
The Mime
The Q Tip - like in snooker, chalk it up
Sprinkler
Going Shopping - chuck it in the trolley
The Eqyptian
The Twist
The Puppet - then cut the strings for full effect
Scuba Diver
Mash Potatah
Climbin' a Ladder
Tug- o -War
Lassoo
John Travolta - just copy any movement the man does
Windmills - get the knees and elbows nice n high - fly em in.
Picking up a Box - vary the weights
Going Fishing - works well with someone else who is prepared for the "reeling"
Bye Bye Apple Pie. x
**disclaimer - we at RINSE! take no responsibility for any lost aquaintances and alienisation from the people around you during or after the performance of the above dances. you have been warned!**
"What do I do now?!" we hear you say.
Fear no more. We at RINSE! have the answers to your prayers.
Here's a list of fullproof (ahem!) royalty free dances to use at your disposal:
Morrisey - where you flail your arms around with flowers in your pockets - knob
Ian Curtis - crazy straight arms
Thom Yorke - hold your hands up to your head like you're a dj. nod with your eyes closed - god
Robot
The Mime
The Q Tip - like in snooker, chalk it up
Sprinkler
Going Shopping - chuck it in the trolley
The Eqyptian
The Twist
The Puppet - then cut the strings for full effect
Scuba Diver
Mash Potatah
Climbin' a Ladder
Tug- o -War
Lassoo
John Travolta - just copy any movement the man does
Windmills - get the knees and elbows nice n high - fly em in.
Picking up a Box - vary the weights
Going Fishing - works well with someone else who is prepared for the "reeling"
Bye Bye Apple Pie. x
**disclaimer - we at RINSE! take no responsibility for any lost aquaintances and alienisation from the people around you during or after the performance of the above dances. you have been warned!**
three golden rules
When we're making music, we think its important to keep in mind three little things.
These are not rules set in stone, that thee must abide by. Because lets face it... that you would be rather counter productive and would stifle rather than encourage creativity. We're not about puttin up cardboard box fences here.
But what we would like is to keep the music at its optimum.
So think of these as after jam tick boxes.
These are not rules set in stone, that thee must abide by. Because lets face it... that you would be rather counter productive and would stifle rather than encourage creativity. We're not about puttin up cardboard box fences here.
But what we would like is to keep the music at its optimum.
So think of these as after jam tick boxes.
- Realism
- because, sure, you could create flawless music in your bedroom and use all the latest software to quantize your drum beats and pitch match your vocals. But surely then you're taking away from the feeling, the rawness and the passion of the music. Flaws are a part of music, both playing and producing. - Relativity
- we're not talking a running social commentary here, but keep it relative. this helps give music focus, and people can connect with that. Helps to pin the music down, so its not just an airy creation floating around in musical space - Limitation
- keep it limited, to a certain amount of physical copies. dont become a whore with your material. its not about sales. its your creation. and why shouldn't it be a one of a kind. then and only then can it truly be called a master-piece. music is after all an artform.
Keep your integrity. Because lets face it, you never know when you'll need it! x
Ping Pong Sing-a-long
Been wanting to share this for a while. One of our favourite videos produced for one of our favourite artists.
Metronomy - A Thing for Me.
WAW! what a video!
i'll let it do that talking really, but it really is creativity at its best. enjoy, after the jump!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYB2Mqs24ss
let us know what you think. x
Metronomy - A Thing for Me.
WAW! what a video!
i'll let it do that talking really, but it really is creativity at its best. enjoy, after the jump!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYB2Mqs24ss
let us know what you think. x
Always where you need to be.
It's funny...
whenever you're out and about and you're stoned, you always crave to be horizontal and laying in a nice big comffy bed. Yet, once you've got your comff on in a bed you're never satisfied.
Sat here staring at a picture of a summer meadow I wanted to be there, laying in the swaying long grass with the sun glazing over me.
But then I realised... hey, I'm where I wanted to be five minutes ago. Why can't I just relish this for a minute. So I did. and I was happy.
Keep that in mind folks. x
whenever you're out and about and you're stoned, you always crave to be horizontal and laying in a nice big comffy bed. Yet, once you've got your comff on in a bed you're never satisfied.
Sat here staring at a picture of a summer meadow I wanted to be there, laying in the swaying long grass with the sun glazing over me.
But then I realised... hey, I'm where I wanted to be five minutes ago. Why can't I just relish this for a minute. So I did. and I was happy.
Keep that in mind folks. x
Have you ever noticed?
Have you noticed how every president to date, and prime minister for that matter
has been religious, and further a christian?
Why isit that our countrys must be governed with a religious taint.
Stupid huh? What happened to impartiality...
has been religious, and further a christian?
Why isit that our countrys must be governed with a religious taint.
Stupid huh? What happened to impartiality...
Recommendation of the Day
Zebrowka Vodka, mixed with apple.
Frisky Bison from your local wetherspoons;
£1.79 - money well spent in our opinion
tastes like apple rounds - remember them? like apple turnovers but they're round.
and no. contrary to popular belief, does not taste like floor
Frisky Bison from your local wetherspoons;
£1.79 - money well spent in our opinion
tastes like apple rounds - remember them? like apple turnovers but they're round.
and no. contrary to popular belief, does not taste like floor
QUESTION:
can god imagine?
- answers on a stamped self addressed postcard to:
GOD
1 Mercy Street
Heaven.
- answers on a stamped self addressed postcard to:
GOD
1 Mercy Street
Heaven.
our fave. musical sites
if your interested, here's our top five sites that we think could tickle many a fancy..
Holy Roar Records
www.holyroarrecords.com/
- cutting the truth about hardcore and pressing it out for the limited masses.
genius from one small bedroom in London.
Big Scary Monsters
www.bsmrocks.com/
- Despite Holy Roar Records thinking Big Scary Monsters is made up of finger-tapping emo pop- punk poseurs, we think there worth checking out...
mellow? yes! eclectic? yes! brutal? probably not!
this is fake DIY
www.thisisfakediy.co.uk
- a cheeky little number, fresh magazine style website keeping you up to date with whats going down.
alot of quality contributors. and also a record label - how do they do it? waw.
NewYork Noise
www.nyc.gov/html/nycmg/nyctv/html/music/nynoise.shtml
- a yank tv show online (yeh! i know) showcasing the best in indie music from NYC baby!
and even includes chat from thurston moore of sonic youth fame. love that guy!
HASSLE Records
www.hasslerecords.com/
- bringing you the likes of blakfish, cancerbats, rolotomassi, and spinnerette. plenty to keep your music pit moist. check out the mailing list for keeping up to date.
**and since we're feeling generous**
Kitsune Maison (BONUS!)
www.kitsune.fr/
- quite an extensive back catalogue of compilations. take the time and enjoy them all.
still banging on a regular basis out the car. represent.. (c'est bon!) at last the french prove theres more to them than frogs and french sticks (although they are both stellar exports)
we'll keep a peeping eye on the musical telescope for more inspiring sites,
so long as you keep on trucking.
laters gaters! x
Holy Roar Records
www.holyroarrecords.com/
- cutting the truth about hardcore and pressing it out for the limited masses.
genius from one small bedroom in London.
Big Scary Monsters
www.bsmrocks.com/
- Despite Holy Roar Records thinking Big Scary Monsters is made up of finger-tapping emo pop- punk poseurs, we think there worth checking out...
mellow? yes! eclectic? yes! brutal? probably not!
this is fake DIY
www.thisisfakediy.co.uk
- a cheeky little number, fresh magazine style website keeping you up to date with whats going down.
alot of quality contributors. and also a record label - how do they do it? waw.
NewYork Noise
www.nyc.gov/html/nycmg/nyctv/html/music/nynoise.shtml
- a yank tv show online (yeh! i know) showcasing the best in indie music from NYC baby!
and even includes chat from thurston moore of sonic youth fame. love that guy!
HASSLE Records
www.hasslerecords.com/
- bringing you the likes of blakfish, cancerbats, rolotomassi, and spinnerette. plenty to keep your music pit moist. check out the mailing list for keeping up to date.
**and since we're feeling generous**
Kitsune Maison (BONUS!)
www.kitsune.fr/
- quite an extensive back catalogue of compilations. take the time and enjoy them all.
still banging on a regular basis out the car. represent.. (c'est bon!) at last the french prove theres more to them than frogs and french sticks (although they are both stellar exports)
we'll keep a peeping eye on the musical telescope for more inspiring sites,
so long as you keep on trucking.
laters gaters! x
tree?!
well it's about time we introduced "the band"
the band includes me, banacheck, and mark (we'll get into him later on). we're a three piece band and currently drummer less. good start huh? but we're making good musical ground. and enjoyin' doing so. we're starting to craft our sound lately, and to be honest it would make lionel richie himself dance up on that ceiling. throwing our collective influences into the smelting pot of; hardcore, post punk, funk, drum and bass, radiohead, and a whole lot of everything else. it's sounding like the love child of david gilmour and shirley bassey only looking a fuckload more handsome!
anyway. we have struck another major problem - being drummerless obviously the first -we are unable to come up with a decidable band name. and have so far amassed enough to fill one and a half mini metros. or a large tesco shopping trolley:-
brap! brap! brap! band
u.d.o - unidentified dying objects
jane doe
internal riot
the staples
drum. roll. please.
broadcast frequency
jeremy kyle and the teenage pregnancy
- so you know, when we split up our side project would be named the teenage pregnancy. genius? ...no? ...just me?
jeremy kyle and the skagg 'eadds - itv2 with jezza was on alot that day
hygenius
spectacles
the abstract
melt down
mammoth
opportunity rises
barrior
front of house
peek!
tree?
the green leaves
tails we dont
the underwater adventure
joycee banacheck (still a favourite)
never the bride
bride faces break bones
faces break bones
so... um... yeh. quite a collection right there. none of which we have been massively impressed with. but have brought many a laugh to the table thats for sure.
we'll keep you updated with the latest from "the band"
ta-ra superstar. x
the band includes me, banacheck, and mark (we'll get into him later on). we're a three piece band and currently drummer less. good start huh? but we're making good musical ground. and enjoyin' doing so. we're starting to craft our sound lately, and to be honest it would make lionel richie himself dance up on that ceiling. throwing our collective influences into the smelting pot of; hardcore, post punk, funk, drum and bass, radiohead, and a whole lot of everything else. it's sounding like the love child of david gilmour and shirley bassey only looking a fuckload more handsome!
anyway. we have struck another major problem - being drummerless obviously the first -we are unable to come up with a decidable band name. and have so far amassed enough to fill one and a half mini metros. or a large tesco shopping trolley:-
brap! brap! brap! band
u.d.o - unidentified dying objects
jane doe
internal riot
the staples
drum. roll. please.
broadcast frequency
jeremy kyle and the teenage pregnancy
- so you know, when we split up our side project would be named the teenage pregnancy. genius? ...no? ...just me?
jeremy kyle and the skagg 'eadds - itv2 with jezza was on alot that day
hygenius
spectacles
the abstract
melt down
mammoth
opportunity rises
barrior
front of house
peek!
tree?
the green leaves
tails we dont
the underwater adventure
joycee banacheck (still a favourite)
never the bride
bride faces break bones
faces break bones
so... um... yeh. quite a collection right there. none of which we have been massively impressed with. but have brought many a laugh to the table thats for sure.
we'll keep you updated with the latest from "the band"
ta-ra superstar. x
we have voice!
we are joycee banacheck. a tag team duo fuelled on malboros, tea and/ or coffee but mostly writing, playing and listening to music. we aim to be bringin you the scribblings from anything covering music,personal shenanigans, and other matters that we feel needs sharing with the world, via a small blog in the corner of the internet...
we now have voice, thank you for reading.
we now have voice, thank you for reading.
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